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Parents- check out the end for journaling strategies with your children

Often when we’re upset or overwhelmed, we can get stuck in the feeling of something. If someone asks us what is wrong we might not truly know. We just feel anxious or feel irritated but we don’t know exactly why or maybe we don’t even know what started it. Especially in cases of clinical anxiety or depression, there does not need to be an actual event that we are stressed about, it could just be biochemical.

Many individuals can find themselves struggling to communicate those feelings and thoughts to others. Even worse, they may find those negative or unsettling thoughts are constantly on repeat in their mind, especially right before bed or during times they’re feeling overwhelmed.

Journaling helps us practice putting those feelings into words so we can process them and maybe begin to come up with strategies for them. We don’t have to pinpoint what is wrong, but just by starting to discuss it with ourselves on paper we can begin to break it down from an overall feeling to the actual triggers, worries, or needs that fuel those feelings and thoughts.

It is also therapeutic to take those thoughts out of the continuous cycle that they may have felt stuck in. That signals your brain that you are working on them actively and that it doesn’t need to remind you about them as often. When you are actively addressing negative thoughts with actions, such as writing, it can help ease you out of the continuous loop of those thoughts.

This can be especially helpful at night when our anxiousness (clinical or not) can often be at its worst because we have less things to distract ourselves from the problems of the day. Keeping paper next to your bed or a notes tab on your phone can help your brain relax more at bed time as you jot down the things you want to remember the next day or want to get off your chest. I would recommend eventually giving yourself some time between when you journal and when you lay down for bed though so that you’re able to process those emotions earlier in the evening and then build a calmer bedtime routine for yourself. Still use your notepad by your bed for last minute thoughts you need to jot down though.

Journaling does not need to be profound or an “Aha!” moment. It is just learning the habit of putting our feelings and thoughts into phrases and sentences that we can eventually feel more comfortable communicating if we choose. This means that developing the habit of journaling is more important in the beginning than what you actually write down. This coping strategy is one that many people may find they get excited to start and then after a week or after their stressful situation passes they feel like they don’t know what they want to write about anymore. That is the time that it can be the most beneficial (and the most difficult) to continue. So I often suggest starting with a guided journal, or one that will ask you a daily question to answer. This allows you to build the habit of writing and thinking about yourself or experiences on a daily basis. Building this as a daily habit allows journaling to be effective then when you need it during times of stress or anxiety. You can write outside of your daily guided journal in those situations then by perhaps keeping a separate journal or making sure your guided journal has areas for free writing as well.

Some journals, like the one below, can be a resource for all sort of daily mood or mental health tracking as well, all in one space. Sometimes individuals like that option or sometimes it can feel too overwhelming. Spend some time finding the right option for you.

If you often find it difficult to express what you’re thinking or if you are very anxious about the idea of speaking to someone about how you feel, journaling can be that stepping stone that helps you practice and build your confidence every day. It is a great way to rehearse a conversation or write out how you would like it to go. If you fear others seeing your entries, it is still incredibly beneficial to journal even if you destroy the entry afterwards. The biggest benefit comes from the act of delivering your thoughts onto the paper.

Processing how we feel and think about something can help us control the impact it has on us. None of these strategies are one and done though. It takes finding which ones you prefer and building them together into good, consistent habits.

You can check out my pinterest page in the link above for free printable journal prompts as well under the anxiety and depression boards.

Parents

Journaling is a great way to build your child’s emotional intelligence, communication skills, and can be a great way to connect with them when you work on the journals together. Depending on the type of journal you use, you can help them build different social and coping skills. Some journals are geared towards understanding their feelings and communicating their needs.

Other journals can be used to learn more about each other and build daily conversations with your children. This is a part of the bedtime routine at my home and I’ve learned so much about the different ways my children interpret their experiences in their lives. It allows me to approach their needs in ways that are better suited to how their thoughts work as well as be more aware of the areas to guide them to build more on their own as they grow.

It is normal for a child to see journaling as another chore or homework-like activity you are asking them to do, especially at first. That’s why starting with an interactive one or asking them the questions and writing down their answers if they’re younger can be a really good introduction. You can also provide little rewards for each week they complete if they’re older. In the end, you’re working with them to build an important skill that could really benefit them when they’re older or as they navigate the increased stress of their teenage years.