*this post contains amazon-associated links as well as links to free resources and printables

Our memories begin with perception. When we first experience something our brain receives sensory input- what we see, smell, taste, hear, feel physically or emotionally, etc. and it quickly decides (between minutes) what is important and what is not. The various bits worth remembering get stored in their specific areas of the brain for a brief time and then on we go-UNLESS- something significant occurs or we decide to redirect focus back to that experience or information. How those memories are encoded includes electrical impulses and neurochemicals through neurotransmitters and their connections between brain cells. Those connections are able to change all the time through something called neuroplasticity. It’s defined as the ability of the brain to form and reorganize synaptic connections, especially in response to learning or experiences or following an injury. So what we choose to focus on can determine where and how long a memory is stored and how intensely it is able to impact us, positively or negatively. Also how significant we perceived an event to be (so the importance we placed on it in the moment) can also determine where and how long a memory is stored and what factors can trigger our recollection of it.

Triggers can occur with or without our knowledge of them. In traumatic experiences, sensory data can be strongly encoded without an individual being aware of what it signifies. A strong, specific smell that was in a room during someone’s traumatic experience can trigger them years down the road, especially if they rarely come in contact with that smell. When we are triggered, we can have visual, physical, and/or emotional re-experiencing symptoms. That smell can cause the individual to instantly and unexpectedly feel like they are back in that traumatic moment. That would be a very intense reaction to a trigger, but many triggers can illicit smaller reactions. The sight of someone we aren’t fond of can trigger us to suddenly feel irritated and to tighten our muscles and get a knot in our stomach. It can also cause us to change our behaviors so we’re suddenly anticipating and waiting for them to say something that will annoy us, although we’re already instantly annoyed, so we just fuel our irritation.

Not all triggers are negative though. Hearing an old song can trigger a happy memory and can instantly make you feel warm or excited as you recall that moment. Eating a favorite treat from your childhood can trigger a sense of happiness and contentment. This post is to discuss both types of triggers, positive and negative, and why being aware of your specific triggers can be a very valuable tool and how you can use it.

First, though, lets look at the connection between our thoughts, our senses, and how we feel. Take this picture of the carousel. Picture it for a moment in your mind. Can you faintly hear a tune play in your head? Can you picture it turning? Do you get a sense of nostalgia or excitement?

You don’t have to have a memory of yourself standing in front of this carousel for your brain to recall aspects of other carousels you’ve seen before in your life or through movies and television. How strong or faint the sensation you have when looking at that picture can vary too based on your past experiences with carousels.

Now take these lemons. I’m going to ask that you look at the picture for a few moments. Then close your eyes, picture holding one of the lemons in your hand. Feel the weight and temperature of it in your hand and imagine yourself lifting it up to smell it. Imagine the smell of it. Next, imagine taking a big bite out one of the wedges and focus on the taste of that bite.

Did your mouth salivate? Why? You didn’t actually bite it so why would your mouth have anything to react to?

This is the power of our thoughts and imagination.

Our brain doesn’t always know what is really occurring and what we are imagining or focusing on. This can happen with anxiety, worries, negative and depressive thoughts, traumatic memories, AND positive experiences. When we focus our thoughts on our fears or worries, our brain can perceive them as actual current threats and start our fight-or-flight response. When we have a traumatic flashback, our brain can perceive that we are currently in that danger again and release the same neurochemical reactions within our body. Being aware of what may be happening in our body or why our fight-or-flight response was triggered can help us regain a sense of control over our reactions to that trigger. We can prepare ourselves when we know we will be facing negative triggers and practice our desired responses to them. It can help us pause and begin interventions and strategies in the moment that we have learned to calm our stress response. Awareness of our negative triggers can also allow us to be more compassionate towards ourselves and mindful of the progress we are making towards addressing them.

Often in my sessions with clients I use a similar format with both children and adults to list out their known negative triggers for overwhelming feelings, such as anger, sadness, fear, insecurity, jealousy, etc. Below is a simple example I made up of what one may look like for a childhood with a lot of family fighting.

Now in an example like this, I would often first discuss the more obvious experiences that would trigger a negative reaction, for example, being hit by someone would definitely go under negative sensations/touches, but as we write things down we are working to list some of the underlying triggers that we may overlook more easily and not realize that they are causing us to feel anxious, tense, frustrated, or even numb. As we continue to explore them, we have a better chance at catching the change in our mood and comfort they cause when we are unexpectedly triggered.

This step is often the first in a series of interventions that I address then in therapy. It can help us begin to identify negative core beliefs or schemas and then work towards exposure therapy. Exposure Therapy helps us build a hierarchy of experiences to begin to work on building a tolerance for as we address concerns like anxiety, OCD, PTSD, and more. When we are able to catch that we’ve been triggered, we are able to decide to use calming strategies to reduce the trigger’s impact. The more often we do this without having to flee or avoid the trigger, the less we can become triggered by the experience in the future.

Just like our neutral visualization earlier with the lemon, we can use positive visualizations to foster feelings of calm, happiness, joy, or safety. They can become strategies to help calm our stress response, build motivation through self rewards, or ease feelings of sadness and depression. Below is an example I made up of positive triggers. You would list your favorite sights, sounds, smells, sensations (touches), tastes, and more if you wish. I like to keep these on paper with enough room to add to as we realize more things that make us feel happy or content.

After you listed them you can begin to brainstorm areas where these things can become useful to address your stress response. Remember, they are another layer of response, not always one-step solutions. Lets say you become anxious before taking a test at school or leading a meeting at work. Listening to your favorite music as you get ready or head there can help distract you from building your anxious thoughts about that day. Having easy access to your favorite smells through a car air freshner, chapstick, hand lotion, or essential oil to smell right before you begin can calm your stress response. Scrolling through your favorite photos can also work or visualizing yourself not only succeeding, but also successfully managing frustrations during the test or meeting can also greatly reduce your anxiety. For example, if you were to imagine that a powerpoint wasn’t working but you were able to send someone to print copies or you pulled it up on your phone for reference and continued the presentation, causing you to receive a lot of positive feedback afterwards for not letting the situation stress you out- then you will go into the actual meeting feeling more prepared and relaxed because you have already mentally tackled a fear instead of letting anxiety grow in your mind and body on the drive to work.

Also, plan to reward yourself afterwards with a favorite snack or drink. Maybe even help yourself sleep the night before by engaging in some extra snuggling with your favorite pet, person, etc. or a warm bath to help you fall asleep more easily. These are just some ways you can incorporate sensory experiences that you know already relax you and stimulate a sense of happiness or pleasure (dopamine response) in your brain.

The other beautiful benefit to this is that it teaches our brain to keep looking for the little things that can make us happy and feel joy. We acknowledge more ways we can motivate ourselves or be compassionate to ourselves after hard experiences. Ultimately it puts the control of our reactions back in our hands and hopefully builds in stronger habits for us when we are faced with negative situations- both externally (other’s behaviors or life events) or internally (a depressive episode or a biological rise in our anxiety). We can’t simplify our mood states to just a series of responses to them, but our responses to them can help us in caring for ourselves and being kinder to ourselves when we are struggling. Also remember, there are professionals out there that can help when you are struggling and need something more.

Below are some of my favorite ways to self soothe and boost my positive triggers through my favorite scents and sensations. The warmies are one item that my young clients have always liked to use for comfort while discussing big or negative feelings and memories that I’ve bought for my children too. I have more links to free videos and printables about positive and negative triggers and coping responses below as well- enjoy!