You Know Body Positivity, Let’s Talk Body Neutrality
We’ve all heard about body positivity- loving and appreciating the skin we’re in. Too often though, we’re presented with an end goal and not the steps to realistically get us there. It can leave us feeling frustrated and overwhelmed. This blog is about a precursor to body positivity called Body Neutrality.
We all want to feel comfortable and happy in the skin we’re in, but people of all ages and genders will struggle at times with how they view their body. This is normal. How much we struggle and for how long we struggle are the things that can signify a problem. Body neutrality is about acknowledging the struggle and working to remove the perception of our body from our negative physiological reactions to it. Much like meditation and mindfulness, it’s about being able to acknowledge negative thoughts we have without feeling the need to react to them. When we can reduce the instinctive reactions of guilt, shame, frustration, etc. then we can work on building gratitude, acceptance, and admiration.
That middle step is a big one and if we skip over it when we talk about body positivity, we can lose the ability to help so many people in their journey. The eating disorders anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa most commonly begin as early as age 12. Most young girls who drop out of sports do it between the ages of 11-17 when puberty and body image are reported as major stressors. When young teens and preteens come to us stating that they don’t like their bodies, if we don’t acknowledge their feelings and struggles as being very real, then we further isolate them. If we don’t acknowledge our own struggles, then we may be missing ways we can be contributing to theirs.
Body positivity is a very important mindset to foster, but it needs to be done with the realization that we may not always get to a point of feeling positive about certain parts of ourselves, but that feeling neutral about them and still appreciating their function can be a healthy place to be. For many body positivity is a goal they are building towards, but it may not be realistic for them yet. Body neutrality is that middle ground, learning to tolerate the discomfort of our negative thoughts without negatively acting on them. We have to acknowledge that there are parts of ourselves (or our lives, abilities, etc) that we may not love yet, but that we don’t have to assign a strong emotion to.
The main concept of body neutrality is that you don’t have to love every aspect of your body, but that doesn’t mean you have to hate those aspects either. It’s about being able to have a thought without linking it to a judgement and working towards making that negative thought a neutral one, and then perhaps a positive one in the future. It’s a process- expecting yourself to sail smoothly and quickly through the steps is not realistic. Give yourself and others more compassion-we have to acknowledge that this step is difficult and takes time. We interact with our body nonstop throughout the day- it’s not as simple as out of sight, out of mind. If we are hearing negative comments from others about our bodies, it absolutely increases our struggle to stay neutral or positive with our own self-talk.
Strategies like mindfulness and meditation teach us to have thoughts without judgement or reactions to them. It builds our tolerance and acceptance of ourselves. Practicing these types of strategies and then applying them to your view of your body can help you build that neutral or positive self view.
Body positivity may be an end goal- learning to appreciate and love the parts of yourself- but to get there we need to acknowledge our true selves and our needs and balance out the unrealistic expectations we may have on ourselves. It’s normal for your body image to change throughout your life- you will have different points in your life where you have to go back and address your reactions to those changes. It’s not a setback, it’s a process and you’re not alone in it. If you feel like you are struggling to accept any part of yourself, consider speaking to a mental health professional and getting the support that you deserve.
Learn more about adding in positive daily habits or reducing negative thinking patterns (cognitive distortions) here.
